Friday, March 20, 2015

THE BRYAN FAMILY LINEAGE: AGONY AND ECSTASY

Brothers and sisters, I hope you will be patient with me, and follow me through this post. Please read it all, because I have so much to share, and you won’t be sorry! This past week of studying our past has been glorious, thrilling, and sobering, full of adventure and sadness. That is why I have entitled this post “Agony and Ecstasy.” I know that you too, will thrill at how deeply our roots cut into Western history, from settling the New World, to Tudor England, to the Carolingian Dynasty. The Bryan line is filled with saints (yes, canonized saints!), nobles, landed lords, farmers, Kings, pilgrims, scoundrels, poets, warriors, crusaders, Emperors, and combinations of all of the above… and it travels back as far as the 200s.
Great Grandmother Elsie Pauline Bryan ("Munny")


The Bryan line travels through our Grandmother, Katherine Bass Myers, through her mother, Elsie Pauline Bryan (Bass). Daddy refers to Great Grandmother Elsie as “Munny.” As I have waded into the Bryan line, it has by far been the most giving line of inquiry into our past. The Bryans, clear into the horizon of their history, appear to have been wealthy in every instance, and they eventually reach into a “noble” heritage. (Noble in the European since, i.e. noble blood) I have found that when you reach a noble lineage in the past, you are confronted with meticulously kept records and pedigrees, because one’s pedigree equaled one’s standing, one’s land, one’s power, and one’s title. Here is a wealth of information. But let’s begin with our Great Grandmother Munny’s family.

Wilson Turner Bryan’s Family
2nd Great Grandfather Wilson Turner Bryan

I love the family photo above, and I believe it tells a great deal in the quality of the photo, of the clothes worn by Munny, her parents and her siblings. Our Great Great Grandfather, Wilson Turner Bryan, like his father and grandfather before him, was a farmer. I speculate (and you will understand why) that he produced well as such, but also that he inherited wealth from his ancestors. I have not uncovered a great deal about Wilson, other than his occupation and the attached photo. His wife, our Great Great Grandmother, was Margaret Patton. His children are Thomas, George, Mai, Minnie, Elsie (Munny), Hattie, Gracie, Clarence, Catherine, and Elizabeth. It is worth noting that our Great Uncle Wid (William Wilson Bass) was no doubt named in part for his Grandfather Bryan.

Also of interest was our 2nd Great Grand Uncle, Professor John Bryan. Is he not the spitting image of his older brother? 

 I hope you will read Professor Bryan’s obituary, as well as that of his wife, Laura Bryan, which I offer below. I do not doubt that you will be reminded of Katherine Bass Myers and John Albert Myers:


Here is a photo John and Wilson with their other siblings:


You can see that Wilson is seated on the furthest left and John is tallest standing. Just imagine the descendants… Indeed, it is because there are so many that I have been able to find so much history for the Bryan line via ancestry.com. 

18th and 19th Century Tennessee: A sobering discovery

I experienced a sad, albeit thrilling encounter with American history when I ventured into the two generations of Bryans who preceded our Great Great Grandfather’s. Wilson and John were sons of Nelson Jemmison Bryan Jr. (1813-1897) who was also a farmer. In fact, I think I can say that going back 11 generations, all the way to the first pioneer (among the Bryans) to America, the Bryans were “planters.” Lord Edward Bryan sailed from England to Virginia in 1618. He was “born in Denbigh, Wales. Landed at Jamestown in 1618 aboard the ship “Marigould” from London/South Hampton. Listed in the 1624 Virginia muster as a planter. Son Rodger (our 8th great grand uncle) was one of the leaders of Bacon’s Rebellion.”
Nelson Jemmison Bryan Jr.
But I digress. Nelson Jemmison Bryan Jr., born 1813, was preceded by Nelson Jemmison Bryan Sr. (1786-1836). I should say that N.J. Bryan Jr. may have been a confederate soldier, but I have not established that as yet. However, passing on to his father, there is much to know, thanks to the fact that Nelson Bryan Sr. left a very detailed will. When I found this, I was absolutely thrilled, because it was so detailed. I bent over it, savoring every detail, until I realized that Nelson Bryan was not simply passing on money, land, and resources to his children. He was also bequeathing human beings. 

I had stumbled upon the first hard, clear evidence of slave ownership in our family. Here is a portion of the will:

My emotions were a mix of sorrow, awe, and horror as I read. Awe, because here was a sublime connection with our nation’s past. Horror and sorrow, because every word of the will makes clear how sure Nelson was that this was acceptable. “But for the grace of God there go I.” What would I have been in his time? What evils do I accept today as goods, because they are wrapped in philosophy, politics, and theology that validate them? In his last will and testament, 22 souls were passed on, by name:

Silva
Charles
Little Jim
Henry
Nancy Boswell
Fountain
Eliza
Big Jim
Hannah
Emily
Linda
Martha
Anselitta
Jasper
Teba
Israel
Mary
Bethel
Sary
Jackson
Jefferson
Armstead

These men, women, and children were handed down either as property, or they were sold for money. Have you or I known descendants of Nancy Boswell, or of Fountain, or Israel? I could not help but think of our beautiful sister-in-law and her two babies.


Truly an agony and an ecstasy. 

I found very little about the second Nelson Bryan, our 3rd Great Grandfather, but I did find more evidence of slave ownership through Tennessee supreme court records. The John B. Bryan referred to in the case would have been his brother John Boswell Bryan and not our Great Great Grand Uncle, Professor John Bryan, whom I referred to earlier. My assumption here is that John and Nelson were receiving these slaves from James Thomas in partial payment of a debt, since the slaves are not named among those bequeathed by the older Nelson Bryan. Still, it is possible the situation was the other way around. A sad history, truly. The following is the recorded text regarding the case:

1847 court case involving slave ownership:

John B. Bryant, Nelson J. Bryan v. James Thomas, et al.

“Deed of trust, including three negroes, woman "Harriet," her children- boy, "Isham," and girl, "Louisa." "Harriet" died shortly after trust deed, "Isham" sold, and "Harriet" sold against debt.”


Whatever the Bryans’ history with slavery, it seems clear that they weathered southern reconstruction well after the Civil War ended. I will continue to dig for more information about Munny’s family and the immediate preceding generations. I encourage anyone with more information to share it with me. 

The Bryans – An Epic Adventure in History


Let me now turn to the robust and exciting lineage that gave issue to the American Bryans who had so much success as planters and farmers. As I shared, Lord Edward Bryan was the family’s pioneer, and he travelled here from England with his wife, Ann Butler Bryan. (Ann’s Butler lineage also appears to be promising as a source of information about our past) Lord Bryan’s heritage is very rich in its ties to history and to great, even towering figures of the past. I share below a list of some of the remarkable people in our family’s history. I’ve provided hyperlinks to larger articles about these ancestors. I invite you to read about them at your leisure. You will be amazed.

Historical notables in the Bryan line include, but are not limited to:

Sir Francis Bryant (11th Great Grandfather) Courtier and favorite of King Henry VIII, Lord Marshal of Ireland, Diplomat, poet, court rake, cousin of Anne Boleyn, known as “The Vicar of Hell” for his hasty distance from his cousin when Boleyn fell out of favor. Here is a scene from “The Tudors” that features Sir Francis:





Lady Margaret Bourchier Bryan (Sir Francis’ mother and our 12th Great Grandmother) was chosen by Henry VIII to be Governess to his two children, Prince Edward and Princess Elizabeth (Elizabeth I!!!)

CHARLEMAGNE “Charles The Great” Holy Roman Emperor, King of the Franks (Our 35th Great Grandfather) – This was the most amazing find thus far.

Charles “The Hammer” Martel (Our 37th Great Grandfather)

Saint Begue (or Begga) (Our 40th Great Grandmother) On the death of her husband, she made a pilgrimage to Rome and returned home to build 7 churches and a convent. Her feast day in the Catholic Church is December 17th.

Saint Bavo of Ghent (Our 1st Cousin 42x removed) There is a cathedral named for him in Ghent, Belgium. He is the patron saint of Ghent. His feast day is October 1st. Saint Bavo’s Cathedral is also the location of the famous altar piece of Ghent, by Jan and Hubert Van Eyck:


Saint Arnulf of Metz (Our 41st Great Grandfather) PATRON SAINT OF BEER. Saint Arnulf was a Frankish Bishop of Metz and advisor to the Merovingian court of Austrasia. He later retired to be a hermit. In English he is known as “Arnold,” and there is a brewing company in Texas named in his honor. Saint Arnulf’s feast day is July 18th.

Saint Itta of Metz (Our 41st Great Grand Aunt) founded a Benedictine Nunnery. Her feast day is May 8th.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

KERNODLE LINE: “The Lawman: Sheriff Robert Thomas Kernodle”



I knew it would happen. That is, I knew that my new passion for genealogy would trigger my passion for art. So this is my first tribute in art to my ancestry. This is a portrait of my great, great grandfather, Robert Thomas Kernodle.  Robert Kernodle was Sheriff of Alamance County, and one of the wealthiest landowners in the area of his time.

I just finished reading my cousin Jimmy’s “Ancestors of Levi Empson Walker,” and was deeply moved at many points in the reading. Jimmy is my mother’s cousin, and his study of the Walker, Kernodle, and Graham lineage is wonderful. Jimmy’s writing is superb, and his reflections speak to the heart. What I find most compelling about Jimmy’s work are the stories. I know that this theme will resonate as I study the Myers, Bass, Bryan, and Line family trees. I see Jimmy doing what I have been doing as I have studied our family history. Namely, reflecting on the facts uncovered. The most moving example of this I share below, as Jimmy reflects on our great great grandfather Anderson Walker’s journey to Tennessee* to retrieve and marry his brother’s widow:

I searched the internet to see what civil war troops ate during the war. Staples included hard tack (white flower cracker, sounds a lot like a thin hard, cold biscuit), rice (probably not available in central NC), cornmeal, Johnnie Cakes (beef and cornmeal fried with bacon grease), dried beans or peas, molasses, and fresh vegetables.

I know that Grandpa Empson Walker grew a lot of sweet potatoes, so I’m assuming that AB would have also had sweet potatoes. When we grew up, everybody had a couple of pigs. They were the garbage disposal, and provided meat in the fall. And salted pork wouldn’t spoil. Since AB was a miller I presume he had flour and cornmeal. So I suspect he took what was available to him to eat. My guess is that he took cornbread, baked at home; baked sweet potatoes; and perhaps some ham or fatback. He would have picked up fresh vegetables where available along the way. That may not seem like much, but I don’t see many additional options.

I’m less sure about provisions for the return trip. I presume that AB, Henrietta and Aunt Ben Anna would have been able to re-stock. But the cart would have been more heavily loaded for the return trip. Remember that Great grandma Henrietta would have been bringing all her possessions with her back to North Carolina. We owe a debt of gratitude to these ancestors who lived far more courageous lives than we could have imagined.”

Amen, Jimmy. The other lovely thing about Jimmy’s account is that we see history through the eyes of his father, our great uncle Claude. To thank Jimmy, I will next be drawing a portrait of Claude from this striking portrait:



Now let us turn to Sheriff Kernodle. Sheriff Kernodle is, as I mentioned above, our great, great grandfather, through momma’s grandmother, Ida Kernodle Walker. Sheriff Kernodle is one of the only grandparents that our grandfather Walker would have known growing up, as his grandfather Anderson Walker (same Anderson Walker referenced in the story Jimmy related above) died in 1895.

Sheriff Kernodle was Sheriff of Alamance County through 4 terms, the last two of which were separated by 10 years. The people of Alamance wanted him back! Sheriff Kernodle was known as “Sheriff Kernodle” to his grandchildren. He was apparently a good lawman, and had the respect of his fellow citizens. However, he made his fortune as a landowner, owning over 2,500 acres of good farmland. He was the first person to give Elon College $5,000 at one time, and according to cousin Jimmy, the good Sheriff “counted the $5,000 out in gold and gave it to W. A. Harper, President of Elon College.” I wish there was more information about his time as Sheriff, but most of the information known is about him later in life, as a grandfather and a wealthy landowner. 

I would like to say the following before going forward with my favorite stories about Sheriff Kernodle handed down to us by cousin Jimmy: Drawing this man, I could not help but hope that he sounded exactly like Sam Elliott.



Cousin Jimmy relates the following stories about Sheriff Kernodle, either passed down by Great Uncle Claude or by posterity:

“To our parents, Sheriff Kernodle was Grandpa. He was the only grandpa they knew. He obviously was quite wealthy. Aunt Frances said that he lost $90,000 in the stock market crash in 1929. That was a lot of money in those days. He simply said he wasn’t going to worry about it, and that he was going fox hunting.”

These two are my favorites, because they remind me of my father-in-law:

“Daddy (Great Uncle Claude) said that when he was building his house, Sheriff came by and told him that he should insure it. Daddy responded that Sheriff had never insured anything in his life, to which Sheriff responded, “right, but I never owned anything I couldn’t replace.””

“When Sheriff Kernodle was approached by someone wanting to rent a farm, he would always go and look at the prospective tenant’s woodpile. If he didn’t have a good pile of wood he wouldn’t rent to him, having the philosophy that anyone who wouldn’t work for himself, wouldn’t work for anyone else.”

Sheriff Kernodle with our Great Uncle John Robert Walker, his grandson


*More on this story later

Friday, March 6, 2015

Connections: My First Post

Connections: My New Passion for Genealogy
The Myers, Line, Bass, Walker, Kernodle, & Graham lineage
Granddaddy & Grandmother Walker's grave at Union Ridge Church Cemetery, Burlington, NC
Introduction

Brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, family: I want to share with you what I’m learning about our family history. This could be the only time I send such a letter, and I don’t have plans to do this regularly, only periodically. For some of you these things will already be known, and I hope you won’t find my writing presumptuous. I just want to share with you the joy I am experiencing learning about our ancestry. As Dr. Felix Line (Great Mama’s nephew) would say, “it is important to know where you came from.”

I have had a love for history since I studied it in college, but I had no idea how I would respond to studying my own family’s history. This is history at a deeper, more personal level, and I have found that I have a voracious appetite for what I am learning. I hope you will too. I will try to make my reflections brief so that they will be digestible and worthwhile.

Myers/Walker/Kernodle/Line/Bass/Graham 

Myers. Bass. Line. The lineage of these names travel through Pa Pa (Albert Leroy Myers), Pa Ma (Katherine Myers), and Great Mama (Gertrude Line Myers) respectively. Myers and Line I know the most about at this point.

Walker. Kernodle. Graham. The lineage of these names pass through Granddaddy Walker (Thomas Graham Walker), Ida Kernodle Walker (Our Great Grandmother), and Graham is an unknown for me as yet, but that will emerge thanks to new sources that emerged this week.

So: Myers, Line, Walker, and Kernodle are the most illuminated portions of our family tree (for this fledgling genealogist) at this point. I can tell you that Myers and Kernodle are German in origin, Line is English, and Walker is Irish. Although that statement was declarative, I reserve the right to correct myself in the future regarding the Line family. I believe that I can definitively say that Myers and Kernodle are German and I now know that Walker is Irish. Of note, Uncle Tommy Walker told me today that “Daddy (our grandfather) always told me that we were Scottish, Irish, and German.”

As far as the scope of my knowledge extends, Myers and Line are more robust at this time than Bass. I hope to amend this as time goes on.

Myers/Line/Bass 

Let us start with the family for which I had the most documentation first. The Tennessee branches of our roots flow with mirth, laughter, and a deep appreciation for life itself. The Myers get their sense of humor and their affection for others honestly! With these updates, I will try to share with you what I have most recently learned, and/or the most notable things that I have read, what has struck me etc…

Line:

A couple weeks ago pop let me borrow a copy of Dr. Felix Line’s genealogy of the Line family. I have since had my own copy made. Then, daddy recommended earlier this week that I read an interview conducted by Dr. Line in Pa Pa’s home with Great Mama. At this point Great Mama was about 97 years old, and it was 3 years before her death in 1990 at 100 years. What struck me most about the interview was her clarity! Great Mama had humor, wit, and instant recall of memory at 97 years old! I think it is best to simply share one of the best portions of that interview – many of you will have already seen what I shared on facebook, so I will share something else that reflects what I described above:

MLL = Mary Lee Line 
AG = "Aunt Gertie" (Great Mama)



And I hope that like me you got a chuckle from Pa Pa’s interjection in the interview (which I posted on FB) “This was potassium carbonate.” I could hear him saying it. And I loved how often Dr. Line recorded Great Mama starting a sentence with “Hee Hee!” I found that the text that he recorded helped me to remember her cadence and manner of speech, which I thought I had forgotten.

Myers:

The other treasure that dad shared with me this week was the first volume of “The Myers Gazette.” The Myers Gazette was a letter that our Great Grandfather (LeRoy Myers, Great Mama’s husband) wrote ONCE A WEEK from 1947 to 1969. I’m not kidding, every week from 1947 to 1969 this dude wrote a letter to the greater Myers family recording whatever doings were occurring for the Myers in Jefferson City and other regions of Tennessee. This guy had a sense of humor. I’ve laughed out loud more than once reading his musings, and I’m only about 3 letters into the first volume. The volume I have is more than an inch thick, printed front and back, and each volume is that thick or thicker. There are at least 4 volumes. Even more wonderful, Uncle Bill put in the time to compile and type up these letters into volumes for all the grandchildren to be able to enjoy for years to come. This was quite a labor of love on Bill’s part, and I am so grateful. I will include Bill’s dedication at the beginning of the first volume, which had me in tears:



Great Grandfather Myers shared some very humorous musings in the first two letters I read, but I will share the following recollection of an event from our Great Uncle Sam’s wedding that all should enjoy:



Every page is like this!

Bass:


As I shared above, the Bass line has yet to be pursued in detail, and I have been able to get names only going back 3 generations after Pa Ma. This notwithstanding, the two most moving finds that I have uncovered on ancestry.com I have found while researching our immediate Bass lineage. As you know, the Bass line goes through our Pa Ma and our Great Uncle Wid (William Wilson Bass). What you might not know, and I certainly did not know, was that Wid and Pa Ma had an older sister, Margery. Margery, like her sister after her, attended the Tennessee Women’s College. I found Margery through an early 1900s census under her father’s name, Magnus T Bass. What moved me to tears was finding Margery’s death certificate. Margery died when Pa Ma was a toddler, shortly after her time at Tennessee Women’s College. I was able to find photos of her, as I had of Pa Ma, from “the Dryad,” the school’s yearbook. (I have noticed that it is easier on the whole to find photos of female ancestors, especially when they attended an all-girl institution – its my belief that they simply hang on to things better than us boys) Margery, like her little sister, was very active. She was on the school basketball team and was apparently a writer judging by a poem another student wrote, referencing Margery as the “author of the class.” However, shortly after the time these photos were taken (1917), Margery died in 1919 due to Pleural Pneumonia. This was at the same time that Spanish Flu was sweeping the country. I have not been able to determine if Spanish Flu is the same as pleural pneumonia yet. However, the heart wrenching aspect to me was the fact that Margery’s death certificate indicated her father as witness, and it appears that he had to fill out much of the certificate himself. Daddy tells me that Wid kept a photo of Margery in his house in a prominent place. I wonder if Uncle Wid would pause in front of the photo to remember his sister from time to time, and perhaps to talk to her. It must have been especially terrible for him, being then able to understand what was happening. Wid was also a very affectionate man, not unlike Pa Ma, so I can only imagine how that death affected him.

You all have of course by now seen the images I found of Pa Ma in “The Dryad” 20 years later in 1937 from Tennessee Women’s College. I won’t rehash it all here, only to say that it seems to me that all of the promise of Margery perhaps was bestowed in double portion on her little sister. I found myself wondering “what if Pa Ma had grown up today, when women have so many opportunities?” She was a dynamo. I was overjoyed when I considered her accomplishments, even if I was unsurprised by them. Still, I found myself thinking “she would’ve been a CEO today!” And yet, what a grand, grand lady she was, JUST AS SHE WAS. What would each of us have lost if she’d been in some high-powered job, and not been registrar for Carson Newman all those years in Jefferson City, Tennessee? What a lady!

Walker/Kernodle/Graham 

The Walkers and Kernodles have been readily accessible to me, and studying them has been an absolutely historic adventure. They are right here, in the soil under our feet. Immigrants, farmers, lawmen, soldiers, distillers, doctors… hard workers all! The Kernodles are very intriguing to me, and I am looking to establish a connection between the Kernodles in our lineage and the Kernodle physicians who founded the “Kernodle Clinic,” because Duke has recently acquired those practices, which are really so large as to be a small health system. I would love to go into a training with their staff in a few months, and be able to tell them that I am directly related to the providers who founded their practice when it got started!

The first Kernodle I got to know was Robert Thomas Kernodle, our Great, Great Grandfather, whom I’ve lovingly dubbed “The Lawman.” Robert was Sheriff of all of Alamance County in 3 separate terms, two of which were separated by 10 years! The people of Alamance wanted him back, even after so long an absence. He appears to have been well liked, and there are some great photographs of him. I will attach a photo of him along with an article I was able to get from mom.



The other notable reveal in the Kernodle line was Joseph Kernodle, who married Jane Cummings. Joseph was our great, great, great grandfather and he fought in the 47th Regiment of North Carolina in the Civil War. I was able to visit his grave at Bethlehem Christian Church in Burlington, as well as that of his father, John Kernodle, who MAY have fought in the War of 1812. There are certainly others who think so.

Joseph Kernodle, PVT. 47th Regiment of North Carolina, C.S.A.
I am VERY excited to have new documents to read from our cousin once removed, Jimmy Walker. I have been able to confirm certain things about the Walker line, and have also felt free to draw my own conclusions where others might have been hesitant or vague. Today I visited the graves of John and Nancy Walker, here in Mebane at Cross Roads Presbyterian Church Cemetery, and John and Nancy are our 5th Great Grandparents, and they were married in Ireland and traveled to this country as the first Walkers to come to America from Ireland. Once here, John became a distiller and eventually went on to fight in the American Revolutionary War. He may have gone on to receive high rank, as high as a Major, but I am currently in doubt regarding whether or not our John Walker was an aide of George Washington. I think there are too many conflicting facts for this to be true. However, I do want it to be true. Still, I was more excited about having a connection to Ireland!!!

Marker placed between the graves of John and Nancy Walker at Cross Roads Church in Mebane, NC
Connections with the living: 

This new pursuit has also been deeply rewarding on the level of human connection: connection unlooked for, unexpected. I have been increasingly “surprised by joy.” In beginning this quest, I’ve connected with friends and family new and old to my acquaintance. I’ve connected with co-workers, neighbors, and first cousins once removed, living right under my nose. Genealogists, be they amateurs like myself, or old pros like Momma’s cousin Jimmy, are a passionate bunch of zealots. No, “zealots” is the wrong word. Say rather that those that I have met in this pursuit revel with me in what I can only describe as a hurricane of joy. With every hunt, with every new reveal, there is a childish giddiness full of meaning and “a-ha!” moments that inject meaning into life, memory, and identity. I will be going tomorrow to retrieve sourdough bread (home made like Aunt Nancy used to make!) from a first cousin once removed who lives right there in Durham! Harriet reached out when she saw me post a photo of her mother, Sally Myers Green, Pa Pa’s little sister. I have a co-worker Margaret who truly “gets it” and is a great sounding board, always ready to absorb and resonate my enthusiasm and to help me process facts and possibilities. Margaret is very Irish and English, so she was just as gleeful as I was when I discovered John and Nancy Walker! Jay’s mother, Barbara Gibson, has selflessly done tremendous research on Jay and Rohan and Max’s behalf on the Myers side of the family. I owe so much to her guidance and her previous research. I stand on her shoulders, and she, like Margaret, has been happy to reverberate my joy. Aunt Marilyn has also been very informative. I owe so much (and will owe so much more) to Bill for the work he did on the “Myers Gazette.” I have also been able to connect on a deeper level to mom, dad, Tommy, and others. The connections multiply and expand exponentially.


Reflections fueled by connection 


Then there are the philosophical and spiritual reflections that arise as I think on the lives of our forbears.  Although I hint at many of them above, I ‘m a little wiped out, so I will share only a little this time – I believe that we can see reflected in the lives of our ancestors our own lives and our own pursuits, passions, and preferences are in no small way informed by their legacy. For example, I have always felt in my bones that we were largely German. I just felt it. And I love the Irish. I love all things Irish. So I was like a little kid when I learned of that connection. I don’t doubt that all of the Walkers who were farmers benefited in some way from the Irish genes they had inherited. I will also conclude by reminding myself, and you, how very good it is to REMEMBER. To remember who we are and where we come from – all that makes us who we are. As I walk among the gravestones, I cannot help but consider the providence that had to preside over so many connections between a multitude of people. These connections have cascaded down through the ages to result in me and you. Coincidence? What nonsense. A divine plan. I am so grateful for our heritage, and hope that you will be too. Thank you for all who have read this. I love you all!